A REVIEW OF NATUROPATHIC DOCTORS

A week ago I'd never heard of a naturopath. When The Herbal Remedy Wife informed me that I'd be attending a presentation by two naturopathic doctors I wasn't sure exactly what I was in for, but I thought I'd give it a go.

First, a brief aside. If you are a single man who is looking to meet some ladies, a prime location is your local naturopathic clinic. The presentation I attended was packed with a bunch of 35-year-old chicks. Be aware, these women were all drinking the natural remedy Kool Aid, so you’re going to have to pretend really dig vitamins and act like you enjoy chia seed smoothies. But if you are willing to do that, trust me, I think you'll do alright.

Now, back to the business at hand: naturopaths. Well, right out of the gate I had a big problem. I cringed every time the naturopaths called themselves doctors and/or physicians. This might just be my pet peeve, but I'm really bothered by the overuse of the word doctor by people who in my opinion shouldn't call themselves doctors, and only do so as cheap way to try to gain credibility. The naturopaths who spoke at my presentation even took it one step further - they said things like "just like medical doctors we can order labs and prescribe medication."  Now, this isn't a blatant lie, but it is a gross and misleading exaggeration. The majority of states in the USA do not recognize naturopaths as doctors, and in the minority of states where they are recognized they have a very limited ability to prescribe medication. So the bottom line for me is this - don't call yourself a doctor unless you can write me a prescription for Vicodin. And if you can't do that, then just call yourself an herbalist or something. Listen, there isn't anything wrong with being an herbalist, and I'll concede that there is the possibility that an herbalist might be able help someone. But you're not fooling me by comparing yourself to a doctor or calling yourself a doctor. 

When the herbalists weren't trying to convince me that they were as qualified as medical doctors, they spent 90 minutes giving me their sales spiel about how they evaluate and treat individuals. Interestingly, they never used the word treatment. I am not sure if they legally can use the word treatment.  I am assuming they are prohibited from saying treatment, probably because there aren't scientific studies to support the claimed benefits for their recommended course of action, but I'm just guessing. 

The herbalists discussed the extensive battery of tests that their clients undergo. Blood, urine, stool, saliva, it all gets tested and evaluated. Then the herbalists give a personalized recommendation based on their analysis.  For example, a person might claim they suffer from fatigue and their lab tests might show that they aren't producing the normal amount of a particular hormone. The herbalists would then recommend the person take a certain type of herb, which contains a lot of a specific vitamin, in the attempt to increase the production of that hormone, and hopefully the person will no longer suffer from fatigue. That all sounds good. I'm not aware if any of this is supported by any science, but it sounds goods. 

At first, I was impressed by the thoroughness of all the baseline testing. But then I considered it more, and the skeptic in me thought that somebody must be making a lot of money off all of these tests. And speaking of money, none of this is covered by insurance and it isn't cheap. One of the herbalists did say that some (I am guessing very few) PPOs would cover some (I again am thinking almost none) of the lab work, but she didn't provide any specifics. 


I'll say this, I guess it can't hurt to have a complete evaluation of your blood, urine, stool and saliva. Assuming of course that you have the means and the ability to pay for this, I suppose there is no harm.  And who knows, maybe the test will reveal a major issue that needs to be addressed. 

The herbalists did have a sample client history for me to look at, and I thought this was very informative for the purpose of my review. The client history contained a lot of lab work, a list of perceived deficiencies, and a recommended course of action they referred to as "replenishing." The replenishing in this case consisted of simply having this person lower their sugar consumption and increasing their consumption of about six or seven vitamins and minerals, all of which can be found in a multi-vitamin tablet.  So, in the sample case I reviewed the person probably paid several hundred dollars for lab work and the end result was a recommendation to take a multi-vitamin. You'll have to decide for yourself if you think that's a good investment of your money.

There were a couple of curious omissions from the sample client history I reviewed.  First, there wasn't any follow up lab work to show that the recommended course of action corrected the deficiencies the herbalists claimed to have identified.  Nor was there a testimonial from the person saying that they felt better after the "replenishing" process. This might just be bad marketing by the herbalists.  But you'd think if they had proof that they actually cured ailments they would want to provide it.

The presentation ended when the herbalists offered to sell injections of a vitamin shot, which was a cocktail primarily of vitamin B12.  I've never really injected anything, but if Tommy Lee can inject Jack Daniels in his veins (I heard him admit to this on VH1 Behind the Music) then I could take a B12 cocktail shot. 

A lot of the ladies in the room eagerly lined up for the B12 shot and forked out $30. However, there was this one fellow who said he wanted to "muscle test" his shot first. The Herbal Remedy Wife had to explain this to me.  Apparently, "muscle testing" is when a person holds an herbal remedy in one hand, and extends their other arm in the air. Then another person presses down on the arm. If the person can resist the pressure then his body is sending a signal that he needs the item.  WTF? WTF? WTF?  You have to be kidding me.

I did not "muscle test" the B12 shot. But I do plan to do a future blog entry on muscle testing, where I go the liquor store and hold up bottles of Glenfiddich Scotch to see if my body needs it. I'm guessing that it will.    

Anyway, I just took the shot like a man and didn't ask any questions. Now, I don't know much about the claimed benefits of this B12 cocktail, but let’s just say it had a Viagra-like effect on me. The Herbal Remedy Wife is forbidding me from elaborating on the specifics because The Herbal Remedy Grandma reads this blog. But the B12 shot is perhaps another reason for the men to start hanging out around the naturopathic clinic. 

So in summary, I was a little surprised and slightly impressed by the amount of lab work and personal analysis the herbalists claimed to do for their clients. I was not impressed by the lack of data to show their treatment program (AKA replenishing) cured any ailments. I was troubled by the fact the herbalists attempted to masquerade themselves as being equally qualified as medical doctors. And lastly, baby I sure liked that B12 shot. I might have to get another one of those. 

The Herbal Remedy Wife’s Thoughts on the Naturopathic Doctors

Well just because Skeptical Husband wasn’t impressed with the naturopathic doctors, doesn’t mean I wasn’t. But I do agree with him on one point: I would have loved to have heard a testimonial or two from one of the many women in the room who are clearly big fans of the services the doctors provide.

The doctors at the presentation talked about their typical patient: a female, age 35-50, with low energy, fatigue, unexplained pains, and low libido. They mentioned that these women often go to their primary care physician who spends less than 7 minutes with them, runs a few labs, tells them everything is fine, and usually ends up throwing a prescription of Xanax at them. It’s clear that there a lot of women, for one reason or another, who just aren’t having their needs properly addressed by Western medicine.

I like that the naturopaths conduct comprehensive testing and create a personalized plan for each patient, which often includes customized injections of vitamins. While at the workshop I ran into an acquaintance that suffers from several autoimmune diseases and recently started seeing these two naturopaths. I am really hopeful that in coming month I will be able to report that the doctors were able to help her body heal itself.